myreligion

So what religion am I?

One that believes in the following things (in no particular order).

1.Just because someone has a lower quality of life than you, doesn't make your life perfectly hunky-dory.

2.If it is too small to be measured, then it doesn't exist. You do not need to get your soldering iron out if no problems show up on the VOM.

3.God exists. I have seen several reasons why. One is because the last 20 or so times I walked outside on a rainy day, the rain miraculoulsy stopped. Another is that I always seem to get what I want, so long as it follows the Ten Commandments.

4. New and improved do not necessarilly mean the same thing.

5. Even the most heinous crime is morally (but probably not legally) correct if you do it to the same person who did THE EXACT SAME THING to you. Example, if someone kills your family, wrecks your car, burns your house down, poisons your dog, formats your hard drive, degausses your tape collection, and maims your best friend, then you can do all of those things without spiritual punishment, however you will probably get arrested, and you wouldn't be able to use "Self Defense". Two wrongs will ALWAYS make a right, at least until "Life II", when there will be no wrongs (i.e. no one will "start" with you).

6. If you commit suicide then you will have to go to school again when you are put back on the earth for another try. And you probably decrease the chances for "Life II".

7. "Life II" is what most people call "Heaven". In this mode there is no abortion, copyright laws, taxes, work, disease, death, do-gooders, or greed. Since there is a separate place for each religion, there will be no one forcing your religion on you.

8. "Hades" is like being at school with no meds. You are incapable of doing anything right, you are forced to work without reward, things never go your way, you will have to eat sour cream and onions, you will be unable to own physical property as it is destroyed in a fire, whatever you do is never good enough, and you end up throwing a temper tantrum once a month or more.

9. Dead things CANNOT, I repeat, CANNOT talk to you. You can upload all the info you want to your dead family members, but the moment you claim to be getting messages from "the other side", you start ruining your chance for "Life II".

10. The only meaning of life is to kill time, not people. As long as you gave your best effort to not violate the Ten Commandments, you significantly increase your chances of getting "Life II."

11. If it is not made of matter, energy, space, or time, then it should be free. As in information.

12. People should get fame and credit for their data, but not money. It is wrong to take someone elses song and claim that you wrote it.

12. Once free, ALWAYS free. It is morally wrong to give something away and then later start charging for it. That means no indian-giving.

13. There should ALWAYS be a way around a BAD law, but only if it is a law provided by the governments of humans.

14. If you think you are better than someone else, then you should not force your puritanical ways on others. I.E. if you believe that you get Spiritual Bonus Points for not eating meat, then it would be wrong to prevent others who do not follow that belief from enjoying meat.

15. Race, National Origin, Religion, Gender, and quality of your body (handicap) are not reasons for hating someone.

16. However, things that bad people do are reasons to wipe them off the planet. As certain as the sun will rise, these actions cannot be mapped to race, national origin, religion, gender or handicap. People who kill their children because they didn't want to put up with the consequences of promiscuity are just ONE group of people that I view who do not have the right to live on Earth.

17. The quality of "Life I" is so bad that I am never putting a child through it. Therefore I am VeHEMenT. I am never having children.

18. Sexual intercourse is only for breeding. People should not breed before the age of 21 and after the age of 40.

19. I do not need Sex, Drugs, or intentional violation of God's Law to make me happy.

20. Just because I enjoy slitting someone's throat on a TV screen so much that their head comes off DOES NOT mean I am going to do it in reality. Good people can tell fantasy from reality. And yes, I have a large fantasy realm. Red writing on this site is true, black writing should be taken with a grain of salt.

21. Pick the right spouse THE FIRST TIME.

22. More laws and regulations do not automatically make the world a better place.

23. If I tell you that I like your dress, hug you, or run my fingers through your chin hairs, that is in NO WAY inappropriate. Not even if the sun stops shining or if the phones stop working.

24. People who say that everything you do is a choice you make (i.e. you don't HAVE to do everything) are LYING if the choices are two undesirable outcomes, one slightly worse than the other. Example, If you are the cashier at a supermarket and someone puts a gun to your head and demands all the money in the cash register then it would be morally wrong to say that you have a choice. However, some things can be luck-manipulated.

25. Sinning should not be government-sanctioned, and Godly things should not be prohibited.

The way history should be.

Back to The Amish Fan Page!

10 Righteous deeds that everyone should do

Heaven is not impossible to those who believe, and how I say the world will end. (pre-Exodus)

This list probably has contradictions. It is just intended as a guide to my twisted religion (which I call a Logical Libertarian Pentecostal. It is just the way I see it, others can see it differently.

My religion FAQ.