Electronics No Common Atheist Liberal would make: | |||||||
This is a list of electronic devices I want to have, but capitalist greed prevents them from being manufactured. Consider this my Electronics Manifesto. These are all electronics that unrighteous, Godless people don't want to see the light of day. | |||||||
1. The UMD Burner:Makes Sony UMD movies and games that run on the Playstation Portable. 2. A tiny IBM-compatible PC that fits in your pocket:Runs yesterdays programs on a small TFT screen and has USB and flash memory support. The Sony PSP had this capability, but Sony, being a record company, keeps updating the firmware so you can't run it legally. 3. A portable MOD player:Really tiny, takes 1 AAA battery and plays 4 channel Protracker MOD files without conversion. Interpolation can be turned off. Works as USB flash drive. 4. A full-quality MP3 recorder with no tax:This is a flash memory voice recorder that can record hi-fi stereo from the built-in microphones, play it out the built-in speakers, and let you do 2 WAY transfer of MP3 files. 5. A portable full-native-resolution HDTV with HD recorder:About the size of a PDA, has a 1920x1080 pixel TFT screen and can view digital over-the-air HDTV and record it to its built-in hard drive. Can also play movie files from a PC using USB and be used as a FireWire Monitor. 6. A Minidisc recorder with download/upload and video playback as well as sound:Takes the standard $2 minidiscs as well as the Hi-MDs and can record in any MD mode ever made. 7. A portable game system that plays any game on any system 16 bit or lower:Simply won't fly, this emulates various systems and plays it on a TFT screen. Also can be used for work tasks. 8. The Cassette Tape Ripper:Plays audio cassette tapes at 16x and hooks through USB 2.0 and you end up with a WAV file on your PC. 9. The Rap/Goth-metal Active Noise Canceling Headphones:Eliminates the need for you personally to put up with listening to non-music. The other person would be free to hear it. It uses song-recognition and plays back the song out of phase to cancel out the offending number so you don't have to hear it. If this is ever manufactured, there will be a noticeable decline in the amount of people who join the Church of Satan because less people are being brainwashed by their so-called friends. 10. The CoolWebSearch/Gator/QoolAid Tesla Coil: Simply blows up one electronic component/solder trace off off the motherboards of the computers of the hackers who wrote these programs each and every time a naked pop-up ad appears on a good person's PC. 11. A Photo Printer Worthy Of My Eyes: Can reproduce pixels the size of butterfly scales with no dithering for 19 cents a 4x6. Can reproduce professional photographs. Cannot reproduce currency. 12. A Portable Amiga 500:Has a real floppy drive that can read DD Amiga disks, boots the workbench/plays Sword of Sodan/runs Protracker..etc, has a 640x480 TFT screen with PAL/NTSC switch, stereo speakers, takes regular batteries, has a laser keyboard and built in joystick, and can also output composite video. 13. A Wi-Fi Web Browser machine that can display all web pages known to man: including plugins, video, and java, not including known ActiveX viruses. 14. The Floor Model Z Drive MP3 Jukebox: Has 6 terabytes of storage in twenty 300 gigabyte hard drives. Can also be used as a PC. 15. A DVD/VHS recorder that can copy anything: No Macrovision protection. Enough Said. 16. Any HDTV recorder that violates the Broadcast Flag: Anyone who thinks these should be illegal should be publically flogged on a live HDTV broadcast with no time delay. 17. Broadband Wi-Fi Cell Phone:Would make calls a lot cheaper as the nicer breeds of people would share their networks to make calls. 18. Portable CD-R recorder that can record from the radio: Insert a non-taxed CD-R and record sound from its microphone or music from the FM radio. 19. Analogue Floppy Disk software reader: Reads the waveform in the analogue domain from even rotting copy-protected disks so they can be archived to a newer format. This would be a better idea than cracking the copy protection, instead the game/program would work the way it did back then. 20. A Game Console that you can write your own games on without using someone else's idea: Runs a powerful version of BASIC and can be used to make graphic demos and playable open-source games. Does not need any quasi-legal additional hardware to boot these games. 21. A USB Edison Phonograph Cylinder Recorder: Simply drag an MP3 file onto the icon of a cylinder, load a wax blank into the machine, and click OK. Records in stereo. 22. A Universal USB Video Game Cartridge backup system: Stick in the game, drag over the ROM, and your playing it on your PC. Reduces/elimnates the need to spread illegal ROM images on the internet, as you can easily play the games you already own even if the original system is dead. 23. Region-free DVD player: Need I say more? 24. ANY Mod Chip: A type of Spank Technology that punishes electonic devices that misbehave. Included but not limited to one for a CD-R deck that allows you to use Data CDs, a game enhancer for your console that lets you boot homebrew, a chip that blocks internet traffic from programs/spyware that tattle-tale on you whenever you download an MP3 file, a device that allows you to shoot a gun at a serial killer even though you don't own the gun, etc. Almost always a Mod Chip promotes a righteous use. 25. Retroactive Black Cable Boxes: Allows you to watch TV for free, and transfers money from the bank accounts of the cable companies to retroactively pay you for all the money they stole from you in the past. |
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None of these things exist, many are hated by dictatorships, and they probably won't be made until the kings on white horses rid the Earth of badness after Armegeddon. Just think, if you too are an Atheist, you would have to wait a very long time before you see this ideal electronic Gaia. But you can believe in something better after death, and finally get what you want. Remember one thing:Thou Shalt Not Steal applies to corporations as well as consumers. Don't buy or use electronics/software that limits your rights, if you can't vote at the polls, at least you can vote with your wallets. Back to righteous deeds. |